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  1. Quote

    | 9 notes
    So imagine my horror on seeing a poster the other day for American Pie: The Reunion, a film in which the original cast reconvene after 13 years, presumably now in their 30s and dealing with kids and mortgages and paunches and OH SOD EVERYTHING. It’s a piece of nostalgia cashing in on something I was too old for first time around. That’s how you know you’re really getting old. That and the way your eyebrow hair goes all wiry and starts sprouting away from your face like its afraid of something, which to be fair it probably is, considering how knackered you look.

    When you lose touch with popular culture, it’s tough to get back, says Charlie Brooker

  2. Quote

    | 36 notes
    On paper it’s virtually illegal to be anything other than thrilled to self-pissing point at the prospect of hours of running, jumping, swimming etc filling our minds and airwaves for several weeks, but in reality, the majority of Britons appear to be acknowledging the forthcoming games with little more than an offhand shrug. We’re just not that arsed – not right now, anyway. Charlie Brooker, in ‘Not excited by the Olympics? Then thank God for the sponsors.’ Read more here.
  3. Photo

    | 31 notes
    Charlie Brooker on visiting Japan, where he is eating green kit kats:

The first toilet I encountered in Japan was so advanced it automatically  lifted the seat itself the moment it sensed my approach, like it just  couldn’t wait for me to crap down its throat. It’s disconcerting,  defecating into a robot’s mouth. In five years’ time that toilet won’t  merely cock its lid when you enter the room, it’ll be programmed to hum  lullabies as it swallows your droppings. If the machines ever rise up  and kill us, we’ll only have our own smug sense of mastery to blame.

    Charlie Brooker on visiting Japan, where he is eating green kit kats:

    The first toilet I encountered in Japan was so advanced it automatically lifted the seat itself the moment it sensed my approach, like it just couldn’t wait for me to crap down its throat. It’s disconcerting, defecating into a robot’s mouth. In five years’ time that toilet won’t merely cock its lid when you enter the room, it’ll be programmed to hum lullabies as it swallows your droppings. If the machines ever rise up and kill us, we’ll only have our own smug sense of mastery to blame.

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    | 42 notes
    The King’s Speech was a superb film, but it’s essentially Rocky for stammerers. Patriotic, yes: but we’ve made other, more forward-looking British films by ignoring the box office and taking risks. This Is England was a big British hit after years of low-budget risks from Shane Meadows. Kidulthood was a big British hit because Noel Clarke risked a film resembling nothing else in the multiplex. Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead and The Inbetweeners Movie were big British hits, the success of which can be traced back to risks taken on television: Chris Morris, Spaced, and the original Inbetweeners sitcom – niche comedies on minority channels. The mainstream came to them. Not the other way round. Charlie Brooker on why David Cameron’s plans for the British cinema industry are misguided
  5. Quote

    | 12 notes
    Or you could do what I’m doing this year: setting New Year’s resolutions for everyone in the world except me. These are the things I want humankind to stop doing immediately, on the grounds they’ve been doing them too long. Here are one or two things I think the rest of humankind should stop doing immediatelyCharlie Brooker writes a top 5 list of things that need to stop. Right now. Starting with cupcakes.

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