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- He is off sex permanently and severely allergic to Viagra
- He is so honourable that he insists on drawing up a will that leaves every penny of his fortune to me, and we open a joint bank account
- Because I will be a recovering lesbian in need of daily therapy, he understands that my time will be taken up with back-to-back Hasbian Anonymous groups and I will barely be home. Often the sessions will be organised as overnight retreats with other women fighting similar demons
- In order to ease the difficult transition for me from lezzer to housewife, he agrees to behave in a manner conducive to my former life, such as coming with me to women’s tennis tournaments, KD Lang concerts and films about lesbian couples buying turkey basters in Ikea, in which we cry and argue every Saturday afternoon
- He will be suitably attired in classic lezzer wear such as a tool belt and singlet at all times
- He buys several cats and allows them to sleep in the bed
Following the ludicrous news that a Hong Kong tycoon is offering £40m to the man who can woo his lesbian daughter, Julie Bindel tells you what a lesbian should look for in a man
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upsettingshorts said:
Why not just “asexual guy who wouldn’t mind the 40 million pounds and doesn’t care what his lesbian wife does with other women?” Seems like that’d cover all the bases.
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guardiancomment posted this
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