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June 22, 2012 | 24 notes

Femfresh offers a range of “feminine hygiene” products – liquid soaps, wipes and deodorant – “for down there”. But while they have developed and produced products specifically for female genitalia, they cannot bring themselves to utter the words vagina or vulva. Instead in their new ad campaign, Femfresh have opted for: mini (as in the car), twinkle (… little star, how I wonder what you are?), hoo haa (best said in an Al Pacino voice), fancy (like Mr Kipling’s), yoni (an American term and makes me think of the dinosaur in Super Mario World), va jay jay, (which should really be one word), kitty (no one calls it this, particularly if you have an Aunt Kitty), nooni (amazing how many of these words sound like nicknames for someone called Naomi), la la (Teletubby), and froo froo (like the 1980s draw-string curtains). As an avid follower of fanny euphemisms I am amazed that not only have Femfresh neglected to call a vagina a vagina but that they have picked a list of words that absolutely no one uses. They may has well have said “Femfresh is the kindest way to care for your pot plant, brouhaha, wibble, awooga, fnar fnar …”. You can stick your feminine hygiene product ads up your hoo haa, Femfresh | Naomi McAuliffe | Comment is free | guardian.co.uk