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Charlie Brooker on visiting Japan, where he is eating green kit kats:

The first toilet I encountered in Japan was so advanced it automatically lifted the seat itself the moment it sensed my approach, like it just couldn’t wait for me to crap down its throat. It’s disconcerting, defecating into a robot’s mouth. In five years’ time that toilet won’t merely cock its lid when you enter the room, it’ll be programmed to hum lullabies as it swallows your droppings. If the machines ever rise up and kill us, we’ll only have our own smug sense of mastery to blame.